


Lost and Found in Tombstone

by DragonOfChanges



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcoholic Dean Winchester, Angry Dean Winchester, Angst, Grieving Dean, M/M, SPN 13x05, SPN 13x06, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-02-01 00:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12693606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonOfChanges/pseuds/DragonOfChanges
Summary: SPOILERS!!!! This is Season 13 from inside Dean's mind, continuing into 13x6, next week's episode. This is how I see Dean handling his reunion with Cas.





	Lost and Found in Tombstone

Dean couldn’t believe his eyes. Cas was ALIVE!  
\-----------------------------------------------  
The headstrong angel had come back through the Tear, into the alternate universe, to defeat Lucifer. He HAD to protect Sam, Dean, and the Nephilim that was being born. To protect their world from destruction at Lucifer’s hands, using his sons power. He would kill the archangel, or he would die trying. Cas had ignored Dean’s yelled warnings before Sam had dragged the older hunter back through the rip. His mind was on one thing-his brother’s death. The seraph had somehow survived the fight and made it back through to their world, only to die with Lucifer’s blade in his back.

Dean had been so relieved when Cas reappeared in their world, unharmed, but then... He had watched the angels grace flare and burn out as he’d screamed in denial. Seen him fall to the ground. Seen the ashy wing prints in the dirt of the cabins yard. He’d knelt on the cold ground for what seemed like hours by Cas’ body, after his mom was lost to the other world and the rift was sealed for good. He’d knelt by the silent form, waiting for him to return. Not touching him. If he touched the cold, still vessel, that would make it real. This couldn’t be real. Not again. He simply knelt, praying, begging for Someone to do something, to bring him back. Time stood still. There was no answer.

After a long while, knees aching and stiff, he had gone to find Sam and make sure he was ok. He’d found his brother talking with a fully grown Nephilim, who had knocked the boys on their asses when Dean tried to shoot the monster responsible for all this loss. The Nephilim had escaped while both boys were down. Before pursuing him, they carried the fallen angel inside the cabin, laying him carefully on the kitchen table and covering him with a sheet from one of the beds. They’d promised him they’d return after they found Jack, and hopefully killed him.

After they’d retrieved the Nephilim, who they had no way to kill-yet, they returned to the cabin to lay the dead to rest. Dean had half hoped Cas had returned while they were gone, but what was dead, had stayed dead. The angel that had attacked them to get Jack had been right. He was gone. Forever. 

With heavy hearts, the three built a pyre to give Cas and Kelly the hunters funeral they deserved. When Dean had finished cutting enough wood to burn them both, he went in to prepare Cas body. He stopped halfway in, for a moment unable to move. Finally, he shuffled to the head of the table where Cas lay. With trembling hands, he gripped the sheet covering him. As he pulled it down from his face, once again he hoped for a miracle, but the form on the table remained still and silent. With tears in his eyes, Dean did what needed to be done. Taking the lemon colored curtains from the windows, he tore them into strips, and used them to bind the sheet around the angel’s body. He talked to Cas while he wrapped him in the fabric. He told him all the things he’d never had the courage to say to the angel who was much more than a brother to him. How he felt, what he had wanted them to be. How much he would miss him. As he finished up, he whispered three small words into the silent room that should have been said long ago. As he tied the final binding around the angel, a single tear escaped his eye, and fell on the shroud below.

Together he and Sam had carried the wrapped body outside and set it gently on the waiting pyre, next to Kelly’s. When the salt had been spread, and the kerosene poured over the wood, Dean stepped back, and said his goodbyes. To Kelly and Crowley, the smarmy dick. To Rowena, the crafty old witch. To his mom, lost and probably dead. To Cas, the angel he had… Gone. They were all gone. With a sigh, he lit the fire that would send the ashes of the angel heavenward. It felt as if a piece of Deans heart was going with him.

Just before they left, Dean collected the ash from Cas wings, and put it in a small jar. When they got home, he put some of the ashes in a small locket he had secretly bought on the trip back, worn hidden under his shirt. A locket shaped like an angel.  
\------------------------------------

Now Cas was back. Dean had mourned him. He had grieved for what they could have been, if he’d only told him how he felt. He’d wallowed in guilt, self-pity, and alcohol. He’d WANTED to die, to stay dead when he’d stopped his own heart, and met Billie the Reaper. Billie had died and been promoted-to the new Death. She had said it wasn't his time to die, that he and Sam were “important” and still had work to do. So he was forced to go on. To continue when he had no hope, no faith in anything, anymore. Least of all, in himself. Not without Cas by his side.

And now Cas had just waltzed back into their lives. Again. One too many times Dean had lost the angel that had rescued him from Hell, and had changed his life forever. One too many times he’d faced this absence. Cas had been killed by Archangels-three times now, by Leviathan, by a Reaper. He’d been trapped in Purgatory and presumed dead. Too many times, Dean had said goodbye. This was the proverbial LAST straw. He’d had ENOUGH of the angels' unthinking self sacrifice! Enough of the pain of losing... Anger overtook the elder Winchester. He strode forward to the exhausted looking angel standing by the pay phone, and punched him HARD, knocking him to the ground. His nose was bloody, and his lip split. Dean pulled him up and hit him twice more, then shoved him to his knees. Cas looked up at Dean, confused. Wasn’t he glad to see him? Shouldn’t he be happy he’d returned? Why was Dean so angry?

“Dean!!” Sam yelled. Dean ignored his brothers startled exclamation. He bent over and grabbed the lapels of the tan trench coat, bringing his face close to the dark haired mans. His eyes flashed.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH! I TOLD YOU NEVER TO DO THAT AGAIN!!!” He yelled. He pushed the angel away, back to the ground, and strode back toward the Impala. Halfway, he stopped and turned. 

“Welcome back.” He said.

**Author's Note:**

> The usual non-ownership disclaimer...


End file.
